By Manuel “Bobby” Orig, Director, ApoAgua

Only those who devote themselves to a cause with their whole strength and soul can be true masters. For this reason, mastery demands all of a person.

– Albert Einstein

This book speaks to the hero in you!

This is a time for heroism. Not only the kind shown by movement-makers and history-creators but also for the noble, inventive, and brave behavior that is wired into every human being alive today. Each of us has the promise to achieve supreme feats of productivity, lead each day with peerless artistry and live a life of joyful majesty that enriches all witnesses.

Handcrafted by Robin Sharma – one of the world’s most respected mentors on optimal performance and leadership, this manifesto is an unorthodox field guide for escalating your gifts and talents to ensure that your primal greatness shows up in your work, career, and personal life. It will show you how to win ethically in this world of increasing complexity, while operating with optimism, decency and the utmost of grace.

The book consists of 101 chapters, mostly short.  I featured 15 chapters that in my judgment are among those that will resonate and are most meaningful to you, dear readers of UXP.

I suggest you acquire a copy of The Everyday Hero Manifesto. There is a high chance that you will find it one of the most profound, inspiring and remarkable books you have ever read!

This summary follows the author’s first person narrative.

About the Author

ROBIN SHARMA is a Canadian author of Indian origin. He is a globally respected humanitarian who has been devoted to helping human beings realize their native gifts. Considered one of the world’s top leadership experts as well as an icon in the field of personal mastery, he works with clients such as NASA, Nike, GE, and Starbucks. His international bestsellers such as The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari, The Greatness Guide, and Who Will Cry When You Die, have sold millions of copies in over ninety-two languages and dialects making him one of the most widely read and influential authors alive today.

Sharma was named by Speaking.com among the Top 5 of the world’s top leadership gurus along with Jack Welch, Jim Collins and John Maxwell.

It is easy to break down and destroy. The heroes are those who make peace and build.

– Nelson Mandela

Introduction

A MANIFESTO FOR THE EVERYDAY HERO WITHIN YOU

Martin Luther King, Jr. said: “If you have not discovered something you would die for, you are not fit to live.”

I  would easily die fighting for the idea that you are great.

I would take a bullet for the concept that you are meant to make marvelous works, experience majestic events and know the secret universe of mastery that was populated by the advanced souls who walked before us.

As a citizen of the earth, you have been called to harness your primal power to do amazing things, to make astonishing progress and to uplift the lives of your brothers and sisters with whom you caretake the planet.

I believe all of this to be truth. No matter where the hands of nature have now placed you, your past need not prescribe your future. Tomorrow can always be made something better than today. You are human. And that is what humans are able to do.

Yes, we show up in different colors, sizes, genders, religions, nationalities and ways of being. Nelson Mandela, Mahatma Gandhi, Florence Nightingale, and Oskar Schindler are heroes of the highest order. Yet those who lead quieter lives – the one who teach in schools or work in restaurants, write their poetry or launch their startups, pursue their trade in bakeries or parent their children at home; those who help within communities as first responders, firefighters, and aid workers – may also be worthy of being called heroes.  Many of these good souls do hard jobs, with a noble resolve to do them well. They work with smiles on their faces. And grace in their hearts.

I am humbled when my life intersects with such human beings. Truly. I learn from them, am uplifted by them and am somehow transformed upon meeting them.

These are everyday heroes. So called “ordinary people” conducting themselves in virtuous and honorable ways.

And so, with sincere respect for all the possibility within you longing to express itself, as we begin our journey together, these words flow as my encouragement to you:

• Starting today, declare your devotion to remembering the sublime soul, brave warrior and undefeatable creator that your natural wisdom is calling on you to be.
• The trials of your past have skillfully served to reinvent you into one who is tougher, more aware of the powers that make you special and more grateful for the basic blessings of a life beautifully lived – splendid health, a happy family, a job that fulfills and a hopeful heart. these apparent difficulties have actually been the stepping stones for your current and future victories.
• The former limits that have shackled you and the “failures” that have hurt you have been necessary for the realization of your mastery. All is unfolding for your benefit. You truly are favored.
• Oh yes, whether you accept this or not, you are a lion, not a sheep. A leader never a victim. A person worthy of exceptional accomplishment, uplifting adventure, flawless contentment and the self-respect that, over time, rises steeply into a reservoir of self-love no one and no thing can ever conquer.
• You are a mighty force of nature and a dynamic producer, not a slumbering casualty caught flat-footed in a world of degrading mediocrity, dehumanizing complaint, compliance and entitlement.
• And with steadfast commitment and regular effort, you will evolve into an idealist, an unusual artist, and a potent exceptionalist. A genuine game changer, in your own most honest and excellent way.
• So be not a cynic, critic and naysayer. For doubters are degenerate dreamers. And average is absolute unworthy of you.
• Today, and for each day that follows of your uniquely glorious, brilliantly luminous and most-helpful-to-many life, stand fiercely in limitless freedom to shape your future, materialize your ambitions and magnify your contributions in high esteem of your dreams, enthusiasm and dedications.
• Insulate your cheerfulness, polish your prowess and inspire all witnesses fortunate enough to watch your good example of how a great human being can behave.
• We will watch your growth, applaud your gifts, appreciate your valor and admire your eventual immortality.
• And you remain within the hearts of many.

BEING FAITHFUL TO YOUR IDEALS IS A FORCE MULTIPLIER

When no one believes in you is when you most need to believe in you.

Those committed to the first expression of their native genius know that self-faith and staying true to yourself and your mighty mission – especially in the face of ridicule and uncertainty, attack and adversity, is the gateway to legendary. And truly a pathway to immortality. Because your noble example will live on long after you’re gone.

I’d like to take a moment to share a little about my origin story, so you will get to know me better.

I’m no one special. No guru. Not cut from a special cloth that you can’t wear.

I have my talents, as you have yours, possess very human flaws and can feel insecure, unworthy and afraid, as well as brave, useful, and hopeful.

I grew up in a blue-collar town of about five-thousand people. In a small house. A child of immigrant parents, with very good hearts. I had no silver spoon in my mouth.

In school, I never fit in with the hip crowd. Always loved being in my own head, dreaming up fascinating dreams, marching to my own drumbeat. Doing my own thing.

A principal once told my beloved mother that I showed up no promise and that it was unlikely I’d graduate from high school. Other teachers quietly warned my parents that I have minimal potential. A few predicted I’d end up a drifter or a vagrant. Most people simply made fun of me.

Except for one.

Cora Greenaway. My grade five history teacher. She believed in me. Which helped me believe in me.

Mrs. Greenway taught me that every human being is born into some form of greatness. She explained that each of us can be astonishingly good at something, and are born with special strengths, remarkable capacities and dignified virtues. She told me that if I remembered this, worked really hard and stayed true to myself, good things would happen and great blessings would follow.

This kind teacher saw the best in me, encouraged me and showed a form of decency that is very much needed in a society that all too often demeans our abilities and degrades our mastery. Sometimes, all it takes is one conversation with an extraordinary person to reroute the rest of your life in an entirely new direction.

Cora Greenaway was what I can an “everyday hero.” Quiet and humble, mighty and vulnerable, ethical and influential, wise and loving. Improving our civilization – one good deed at a time.

She inspired me to transcend the limited expectations that many had placed on my life and finish high school. And then complete university. Then secure a seat in law school. Then earn a master of laws, on full scholarship.

Trust not your detractors. Pay no attention to your diminishers. Ignore your discouragers. They do not know of the wonders within you.

In time, I became a successful litigation lawyer. Well-paid but empty, driven yet creatively unfulfilled, disciplined yet disconnected from who I really was. I’d wake up every  morning, look at myself in the mirror and dislike the man looking back at me. I didn’t have much hope

Success without self-respect is an empty victory.

And so I decided to remake myself. To get to know a truer, happier, more peaceful version of the person I was. By starting a campaign of massive personal growth, profound emotional healing and deep spiritual progress.

Regenerating a more creative, productive, and inventive version of your self – one filled with more joy, bravery and serenity, isn’t some unreachable gift reserved for The Gods of Sublime Genius.

No. Genius has far less to do with your genetics and much more to do with your habits.

At this period of my life, I set out to rebuild, rewire and recreate the person I was into a human being who drew his power from an inner system of navigation rather than from outer attractions like position, material goods and prestige. One who did not hold back on speaking truthfully, one whose job never felt like a job but more like a calling, one who did not need to purchase things to experience rich pleasure and one who used his days to make the lives of others happier.

It’s far too easy to spend an entire existence climbing a series of mountains only to realize at the end that we scaled the wrong ones.

By being busy being busy.

By being addicted to distractions and seduced by diversions that gave us a false sense of progress, yet in reality steal the most valuable hours of our most precious days.

By the hypnotic allure of filling our lives with items and activities that our culture sells as the authentic measures of success when – in truth – they are spiritually satisfying as a quick trip to the shopping mall.

My devotion to reforming myself by living more to the point just as I was entering my early thirties makes me think of the words of the poet Charles Bukowski:

"We are all going to die, all of us, what a circus! That alone should make us love each other but it doesn’t. We are terrorized and flattened by trivialities, we are eaten up by nothing."

For a period of three long years, I’d rise early, while my family slept and experiment with practices that would reduce my weaknesses, purify my powers and more fully align me with my personal destiny.

I’d study books on the great men and women of history – the artistic geniuses, the fearless warriors, the prodigious scientists, the business titans and the tireless humanitarians, learning of the central beliefs, dominant emotions, daily routines and ironclad rituals that generated their luminous lives.

I attended personal growth conferences, and invested in self-development courses.

I learned to meditate and visualize, journal and contemplate, fast and pray.

Looking back at it now, as a much older man, I see that it was a lot. I must say that at times the process was confusing, uncomfortable and terrifying. It was also electrifying, fascinating, rewarding, and often breathtakingly beautiful. Fundamental personal change is often painful because it is to very transformational.

As I did my own inner work every morning, the way I saw myself, how I behaved and the very operating system of my life were completely restructured. As I spent time with my dream team of instructors, many of my major fears vanished; so many of my daily worries and sabotaging behaviors simply fell away. Much of my need to please, to be liked and to follow the herd – while betraying myself – just dissolved.

Near the end of those three years of almost never-ending healing and consistent growth, I knew I was ready to begin a new phase of the adventure toward personal mastery and leadership that I still find myself on today. Instinct whispered that I should write a book about my experience – and the lessons I’d learned. So others could make the rise as well.

I called it The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari.

Some snickered at the title and suggested that no one would read a self-help book written by a lawyer. Others muttered that the life of an author was hard, so I should give up before I started. I refused to participate in their limitation and very enthusiastically wrote a fable about the path from a half-lived existence and toward one weighted with wonder, bravery, and pure possibility. The process of writing this book was enchanting.

I decided to publish the book myself. My wonderful mother edited the manuscript. I had it printed at a twenty-four-hour copy shop. I still recall my father driving me there at four in the morning so I could advance my mission before heading to my job as a litigation lawyer by eight.

Due to my inexperience, I didn’t realize that making a book from letter-sized manuscript pages would shrink the text. So the first edition was hard to read. No matter – I did my best and began sharing the message of The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari.

A famous author agreed to meet with me, as I felt I needed further guidance and wished to learn how to reach a larger audience to positively impact more people. Finding a wise mentor  truly is priceless as you begin to lead your most heroic life. I wore a suit, brought him a copy of my self-published book and sat in a leather chair in front of his enormous desk as he held court. He said, “Robin, this is a hard business. very few ever make it. You have a good job as a lawyer. You should stay with that and not take a chance on something so uncertain.”

His words deflated me. Discouraged me. Disappointed me. I thought that perhaps my ambition to get The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari into the hands of readers who would benefit from it was silly. Maybe I’d miscalculated my ability. I’d never written a book. It was a tough field to break into. Maybe the big-shot author had a point: I should play it safe and stick with my career in law.

Then a blinding glimpse of the obvious appeared. His opinion was merely his opinion. Why give it any more value? Someone was going to write the next bestseller; why not me? And every professional starts off as an amateur. It seemed to me that I shouldn’t let his counsel smother my passion and deny my aspiration.

I guess my faith was larger than my fears. And my daring was stronger than my doubts.

I pray you always trust your intuition over the cool and practical reasoning of your intellect. Your possibility, mastery, and genius do not live there. People now say I was brave to persevere in the face of dissent and challenge. It wasn’t bravery at all. To be honest – I felt I had no choice but to follow where my enthusiasm was leading me.

“People living deeply have no fear of dying,” wrote Anäs Nin. Norman Cousins observed that “the great tragedy of life is not death but what we allow to die inside us while we live.” I share these quotes to remind you of the shortness and frailty of life.

It’s wiser to take a chance and risk looking foolish (yet know that you did it) than miss the opportunity and end up empty and heartbroken, on your last day.

So I took The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari to a respected editor with the intent of making it better. I was excited to get the feedback of an expert and pretty sure he’d tell me I’d produced something truly special.

Instead, the letter I received from the editor was a litany of criticisms. It began, “There are major problems with The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari, Robin. There’s no use mincing words.”

His take on my characters?

“Your characters don’t emerge as much more than stereotypes. For example, Mantle is successful, wealthy, brilliant, charismatic, remarkably funny, etc., but the more you pile on, the more of a cliché he becomes…”

He ended the letter by saying, “I’m sure my reaction to your work has disappointed you, but I hope my suggestions will be helpful. Good writing takes hard, hard work. Unfortunately, good writing looks easy. It isn’t.”

Embarrassed. Rejected. Dejected. He sort of broke my heart.

And yet instinct is wiser than intellect. And all real progress has come from daydreamers who were told by the so called “experts” that their consuming idea was foolish and their creative work was unworthy. Please protect your respect for yourself and for your most honest artistry above the fear-fueled, impossibility-filled pronouncements of people who are masters of theory yet creators of nothing.

A few months after publishing the book, I was in a local bookstore with my son, who was four years old at the time. Much credit is due to him, because it was his love for hammers, tape measures and other carpentry tools that led us to the hardware store next to the bookshop. It was a rainy night, with a full moon that forecast a good omen.

Once inside the bookstore, we headed directly to the section where my book was displayed. I’d given the owner six copies – on consignment (which means if he couldn’t sell them, he could return them). Another self-published author had shared a key piece of advice: once a book is consigned by the author, the retailer must keep it. So I had a practice of visiting every place that carried The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari and personally autographing every single copy.

I collected the six copies from the shelf and headed to the front area, where I politely asked permission to sign my book. The cashier approved and with my son perched on the wooden counter before me, I used one arm to steady him and the other to sign my utterly unknown book.

As I signed my name, I noticed an observer, wearing a green trench coat still wet from the rain, standing off the side. He watched every move I made.

After a few minutes, the man approached me and said, speaking very precisely: “The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari. That’s a great title. Tell me about yourself.

I explained that I was a lawyer. That I’d been frustrated and unhappy a number of years earlier because I was living someone else’s life. I shared that I’d discovered valuable ways to live more happily, more confidently, more productively and access far more aliveness. I said that I had a deep drive to get my book to as many human beings as possible. And to serve society as best as I could. I added that I’d published the book in an all-night copy shop. And that I’d been ridiculed and criticized and minimized as I pursued my project.

He looked at me. He studied me. He waited for what seemed a long time.

Then he pulled out his wallet and handed me his business card. On it were these words: Edward Carson. President. HarperCollins Publishers.

Synchronicity is destiny’s way of staying silent, right?

Three weeks later, HarperCollins bought the world rights to The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari.

For $7,500.

The book has gone on to become one of the bestselling books of all time, serving many millions of good human beings across our precious world in the process.

And so, as I round out this chapter, I encourage you  to consider the ethical ambitions that sit silently in your heart, waiting to be made real. I ask you to wonder how you can be the Cora Greenaway of someone’s life and the kind of human who makes people braver when they stand in your presence. I invite you to go to the threshold of the fears that chain you, explore the boundaries that bind you and notice all the past hurts that now stop you – and rise above it all.

For this day presents your new dawn. And our world awaits your everyday heroism.

AVOID THE THIRD REWARD

Giving a gift and expecting a return is not a gift at all. It’s an exchange.

What makes giving an act so blissful that it borders on the mystical is the intention with which you give.

And if you want something back, you corrode the splendor of the present you are delivering.

Before I wrote this particular piece for you, I – yet again – read a passage written by Roman emperor Marcus Aurelius. You know this philosopher is a great hero to me.

He used the term “benevolent,” which finally landed on me in a way that I’ve long hoped it would.

I got it. Took me years to get there. Where the meaning beneath the word became a felt knowing versus an intellectualized understanding.

To be a benevolent person (or leader, creator, maker) is to do what you do in purity. For the right reasons. In complete integrity. Mostly for the good of other people.

I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with also doing good for yourself. Self-love is a wonderful maneuver. And win-win is  superb game to play.

And yet you’ll ascend into higher reaches of your triumphantly happy nature, enter the Edens of your most glorious nobility and experience the Nirvana of your most sacred success when you give primarily for the sake of giving. Not getting.

The wise and courageous ruler (back to Marcus), who thoroughly cared about the welfare of Rome (then the most powerful empire on the planet) and the state of its citizens, also wrote the passage I read: “When you have done a good act and another has fared well by it, why seek a third reward, as fools do, be it the reputation of having done a good act or getting something in return?”

• … Philanthropy to get your name on a hospital wing isn’t real philanthropy, is it? It’s vanity.
• … Helping a good cause and then advertising your donation everywhere you go for brand building isn’t real helping. It’s self promotion. (I don’t know about you, but I’m growing weary of all the companies insincerely doing things to show “a social conscience” when – out of the spotlight – they could not care less.)
• … Doing something kind for a loved one, a neighbor or a teammate and waiting for even a thank you destroys the magnificence of the marvelous move that you had the wisdom to make.
• Just give them the reward and let go of the longing to be repaid. The service you have given is your dazzling bounty.

Deliver benefit with zero strings attached. No reply required. No applause necessary. Only then is your generosity innocent. And, therefore, honorable.

And every time you act like this, you’ll increase as the ruler over your neediest desires, your ego’s relentless demands and any loyalty to the inherent powers that your heroism requests that you continue to express.

And wouldn’t this be the finest gift to receive in return?

THE EIGHT FORMS OF WEALTH

Our culture trains us to believe that wealth only comes in one form: money. I disagree. There are a lot of people who have a lot of cash – and not much else. Such souls are cash rich, but joy poor. They have economic liquidity, but poverty of positivity. And spiritual scarcity.

JPF (joy, peace and freedom) are a million times more valuable than FFA (fame, fortune and applause), at least the way I see life.

There are eight major dimensions of wealth to work on if you’re serious about a life of genuine abundance. And true riches.

On a private advisory assignment, or on the initiation of one of my coaching groups, an early step is to have each client rate their current performance in each of these eight areas from one to ten, one being extremely low and ten being world-class.

This exercise gives them a powerful assessment of precisely how they are doing in each of the fields of authentic wealth. Clarity precedes mastery. You can’t remedy a problem that you have no awareness about. So much of the elite performance and handcrafting a gorgeous life is about building intimacy with your blind spots. And ending the hypnosis of self-deception.

Form of Wealth #1: Self-Mastery + Self-Heroism

This sphere represents your progress when it comes to knowing, reclaiming and expressing your heroic nature. Personal mastery is about celebrating your Mindset, purifying your Heartset, and escalating your soul-set – maximizing The 4 Interior Empires of creativity, productivity, prosperity and public service to many. Remember: leadership, greatness and impact are an inside job. you’ll never make an exterior life that’s higher, stronger and more noble than the one you build within. Materializing your finest self really is a true form of wealth.

Form of Wealth #2: Physical Fitness + Longevity

This life dimension refers to all aspects of your physical status, including brain health, personal energy, stamina, the ability to recover quickly, the quality of your immunity, sleep hygiene and longevity. Giving the time and resources to flourish this segment of your life will cost you, I agree. Disease (or death) will cost you more.

Splendid health is a key element of genuine fortune. Invest in it (like any excellent investor) as the returns that will flow will be in an order of magnitude beyond anything you can fathom. As the elders of one wisdom tradition say: When young we are willing to sacrifice all of our health for financial wealth; yet once we grow old and wise we are willing to give up all of this wealth for even a single day of excellent health.”

Yes, Healthset appears in this category as well as being part of Form of Wealth #1. I do this intentionally because although great health is part of personal mastery, it also deserves its own kingdom. So you make it a top priority as you build a world-class life. Because without it you have nothing.

Form of Wealth #3: Family + Friendships

No one, at the final hour, wishes they had spent more time with their lawyers, corporate suppliers and golf partners. No. We all hope, at the end of our lives, to be surrounded by family and friends whom we have treated well and who are overwhelmed by their appreciation and adoration for us. Too many in their twilight are filled with giant regret that they didn’t spend enough time with those they love. If this priority will matter at the end, wisdom instructs that you make it essential now. This is especially true when it comes to children. As parents we have a tiny window of opportunity to show unconditional love and shape our kids before they go off to lives of their own. Once that window closes, it’s hard to open it again, if you haven’t done the work to make this important relationship deep.

Form of Wealth #4: Craft and Career

Every human being has the promise to realize soaring levels of joy, meaning and internal peace from becoming splendidly skilled at what they do for a living, so they operate at the height of their powers, talents and capacities. Few pursuits provide as much psychic satisfaction as doing your work at mastery, becoming Best in the World (by far!) at your craft, solving hard problems that enrich a ton of people and having the time of your life growing into the producer your inner heroism is pleading with you to be. Definitely devote great energy to raising your performance in this region.

Consider your devotion to the maximization of your craft and the related amplification of your professional career as a massive form of wealth worthy of celebrating (and increasing).

Form of Wealth #5: Money + Net Worth

Yes, of course, your income and net worth (believe it or not, some people think these are the same; they are so different) are a form of wealth within your life.

To realize a beautiful life balance, having enough money to create fantastic memories of your family, easily handle their needs (as well as your own) and enjoy the fruits of your labor by buying the material goods (and experiences) that fill your heart (and soul) with happiness is fundamental. So much stress is caused by a lack of economic prosperity. And so much good can be done in the world once you have a fair amount of money.

I’d love you to note that one of the biggest mistakes people make in their financial lives (after accumulating too much debt and failing to practice the time-tested yet usually broken rule of living within your means) is to upgrade your lifestyle each time they increase their income. Huge error. If every time you make more money you increase your expenses, you’ll never build any net worth. You’ll always be on the hamster wheel.

I also recommend that you avoid being hypnotized by “Top Line Seduction,” the psychological attraction of being impressed by personal (or corporate) income rather than looking at the profit. Your annual and monthly inflow matters, a lot less than you have left over to save and invest, once expenses and taxes are paid. Don’t confuse gross income with net profit. Ever. Please.

Finally, on Form of Wealth #5, trust and know that money is not evil. Only people who have no money say that, to justify their poverty. Prosperity can bring you  - and yours – happiness. If used with wisdom, enthusiasm, consideration and the disciplined exercise of integrity.

Form of Wealth #6: Mentors + Influencers

We do rise to the level of our conversations, associations and relationships. Your inner circle absolutely drives your external mastery. The sixth form of wealth, then, involves spending more time with people whose live you dream of living. People who – by the way they think, feel, operate and contribute – reveal to you a whole new way of working and living. Influencer who push you, by their example, to show up with even greater optimism, excellence, originality and decency.

And if you’re really serious at rolling at world-class, make sure you regularly hang with human beings who are behaving at such a level of amazingness that you’ll never be able to catch up to them! Their model will an un-put-outable fire in your belly and fuel your magnificent ascent into the magic you are meant to be, sprinkling your starlight into the universe. If you’re the most successful person you know, maybe it really is time to know some new people. Finding exceptional role models to mentor you will create a total right-angle turn in your life. This, I promise you.

Form of Wealth #7: Adventure + Lifestyle

Humans are happiest when we are progressing. And exploring. And venturing out into the vivid blue oceans of previously imagined places, potentials and pursuits that our spirits aflight. You and I, at a primal level, are nomads. We are travelers. Voyagers. Pioneers, of sorts. We long to learn new skills, embrace novel experiences, enter foreign cultures, turn strangers into friends and advance through life with sparkling eyes and dancing hearts.

To realize optimal life balance, it’s important to inject some sort of “institutionalized adventure” into your weeks, whether that’s a trip to the art gallery or a visit to the library or a trek at a restaurant that make a type of food you haven’t tried. As well, nourishing your inner explorer on regular basis will fuel your inspiration and upgrade your creativity.

Form of Wealth #8: Impact + Contribution

I know we agree that a life that doesn’t make the lives of others better is a terribly empty one. So commit yourself even more diligently to investing in this final form of wealth by making sure that each week you’ve planned some activity that will scale your usefulness and increase your public service, in some small (or large) way. So when you exit the world, you will know the honor and dignity of a life lived for so much more than yourself.

THE MOST COSTLY CONFLICT

I’ve seen people get into fights that consumes the most valuable years of their lives.

I know of one gentleman who took on a large organization. Because he felt he had been treated unjustly. And he knew he was right.

He could have settled the matter with some astute negotiation and intelligent discussion and perhaps a little compromise.

But he needed to be vindicated. Fully and completely.

And so he spent twenty years fighting this war. Yes, twenty years.

And guess what? He won.

And guess what? He suffered a stroke, lost most of his fortune and ended up in a wheelchair.

He could hardly speak by the time the whole battle was over, but he did mumble to me: “See, I taught them a lesson, didn’t I?”

Of course, I viscerally believe that one must fight for what is right. Martin Luther King, Jr., once said: “Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.”

To stand for your principles, remain true to your values and defend that which is important to you is what strengthens your character, fuels your everyday heroism and escalates your self-esteem.

I get that. We are on the same page on this.

And yet, through my own trials, I’ve also learned this: No fight is worth the loss of your creativity, productivity, happiness and peace of mind.

Lose these treasures and you’ve lost everything.

And so, it’s all a fine balance, isn’t it?

Pick your battles carefully. Sometimes you must uphold your honor and come out swinging. And sometimes you need to see the larger picture, prefer the protection of your prized joyfulness over the vindication of being right and play a wiser game, moving ahead by avoiding conflict – trusting that taking the high road will serve you best in the long run.

NOTHING’S PERFECT

I was in San Jose, Costa Rica, staying at a stylish boutique hotel situated by a lovely waterway.

On checkout, the young woman at the front desk politely asked, “How was your stay? Perfect, I hope?”

Then, before I could answer, she interrupted herself with, “Of course, nothing’s perfect.”

Hmmm.

“Nothing’s perfect.” What a wise insight.

In nature, no sandbank, no garden, no crooked brook, no fragrant flower and no lush forest is perfect.

Same for life, because it’s governed by the same natural laws. You won’t find anything that is absolutely perfect. Ever.

And once you accept this, you’ll find the way things are a whole lot easier to manage. You’ll exist with far more cheerfulness, peacefulness and spiritual genius.

Nothing you work on will be absolutely perfect, even if it’s your magnum opus. I’m sure Michelangelo, in hindsight, would have changed a few strokes on the fresco of the ceiling in the Sistine Chapel and that Leo Tolstoy would have structured War and Peace slightly differently, given a chance, and that Marie Curie would have reimagined a number of her scientific innovations, on further reflection.

No business will ever be perfect, even if your merchandise is magnificent and you’ve selected epic performers for your team.

No pair of shoes, cake at a bakery, film you watch or sports match between top players will ever be perfect.

And no personal relationship will be perfect. Because I’ve yet to meet the perfect person.

But here’s the wonderful thing …

The more you embrace this understanding around The Imperfection of All Things, the more you will pretty nearly automatically start to see the magic within the messy.

You’ll begin to see the chemistry – and outright alchemy – in objects and experiences and humans that are flawed. You’ll learn to trust that it’s all perfect because of its imperfection.

In Japan, people fix broken pottery  pieces by putting them back together with pure gold, a four-hundred-year-old practice called kintsugi. It fascinates me tremendously that the once -  damaged piece becomes stronger at the broken places. Even more importantly, the method celebrates the truth that something with faults can be reconceived as something even more valuable.

And would this not be a perfect thing?

YOU’RE ABSOLUTELY MORE THAN ENOUGH

Eleanor Roosevelt said, “Comparison is the thief of joy.”

And we sure do live in the Culture of Comparison, don’t we?

• We feel happy about our work-win until someone on the team gets what we perceive to be more recognition that we received.
• We are content with our romantic partner until we see someone who looks better on the arm of another.
• We feel financially secure until we see the photo of someone sunbathing on their yacht, flying private whenever they wish and sniffing the roses in the colorful gardens that surround their opulent mansion.
• We feel confident about how we look until we spot an image of another with a leaner physique and a more model-esque face.

Much of my own emotional healing has centered around learning to feel good enough. Learning to be content with who I am, the way I live and whatever I have. And not comparing my life to the lives of others (which, I’ve discovered, often turn out to be nothing more than carefully crafted illusions designed to sell a brand and push a product).

I’ve learned that there are no extra people on this planet.

Each of us has value. Everyone matters. And the cash in someone’s bank account or the size of someone’s home doesn’t mean they are in any way better than you. Or more important to the world than you.

Why does our spiritually-damaged society prescribe a tycoon is more valuable than a ditchdigger? Or that a state leader should be considered more powerful than a teacher? Or an emergency worker? Or a sandwich maker? I really don’t get this. And it bothers me.

Money is only one metric of success. It’s only one form of wealth. There are many more, you know? Like being a good person and doing work that satisfies you, like having a fulfilling family life and being around friends who flood you with gratitude and hope. Many obsess over financial return on investment yet, tragically ignore the value of character ROI and happiness ROI and spiritual ROI.

And I must tell you from my experience as an adviser to a ton of captains of industry, billionaires, and entertainment titans, that a lot of them have all the assets you could imagine, yet are troubled, unhappy and fraught with worry. Too much money can become a formula for complexity, difficulty and often outright misery. Personally, I place a higher value on inner freedom than upon financial gain.

Consider the richness of a person who:

• Is always on time, has wonderful manners, is consistently considerate of the needs of others and cares about the environment.
• Takes immense pride in doing their simple work with eagerness, high ethics and uncommon excellence.
• Radiates positivity even in harsh conditions, sees the best in all around them and exemplifies thankfulness for whatever they have.

Isn’t one such as this a hero of our society? A model of mastery? A representative of the extraordinary?

Own your specialness. Celebrate your virtues. Appreciate your goodness. Salute all you’ve gone through as well as the brilliant blessings that your future has in store for you.

Do. Not. Minimize. Your. Majesty.

Understand – once and for all – that there’s no one exactly like you alive on the planet today. No one.

Since the beginning of the human empire, only one of you has been made. Amazing, yes? Just one of you – with your fingerprints, your gifts, your authentic ambitions, your way of talking, working, walking and loving. Good God, you’re amazing!

Yes – the media you consume send you photos of people who appear to have thinner tummies and videos of actors driving spectacular sports cars. But that doesn’t mean you’re not startlingly worthy. Because you are. Absolutely one of a kind. And while I believe it’s very important to keep making every aspect of your life better, every single day, please also know and trust that who you are right now is more than enough.

So may I humbly suggest that you give yourself the words, praise, encouragement you are waiting for forces outside of you to give.

And become your own top cheerleader, your single finest supporter and your number one fan.

THE PEOPLE BUILDER’S MANTRA

A true story…

There was once a cafè that had a very good manager running the shop.

• … She really cared about her customers.
• … She greeted everyone she met with cheerfulness and politeness.
• … She ensured that the goods on offer were the best in the community, always priced fairly, and that her employees were consistently friendly.

The manager’s favorite customer was a woman who had been a schoolteacher. In her eighties, she always showed up at the cafè perfectly attired and looking exceedingly graceful.

Each morning she visited the cafè, holding the hand of an elderly gentleman, her husband. Whom she appeared to love very, very much.

Together they would carefully move through the coffee shop and make their way to the counter, always ordering the same thing: two cups of coffee and one small pastry, with two forks so they could share it.

Then they would travel to their usual table. And have a conversation.

Because …

… Business is a conversation. Lose the conversation with your teammates, customers and suppliers, and you’ll lose your business.

… A splendid home life is a conversation. Neglect this because you’re constantly playing with your devices or watching too much TV or working all the time and you’ll lose your family.

… And being an elderly hero begins with having a conversation with yourself, about who you wish to be and what you promise to do for the world. Lose your conversation with your finest you and you’ll lose the intimacy with your authenticity.

So back to the coffee shop.

One day it occurred to the manager that her favorite client was no longer showing up at the cafè. She grew worried. Because she really cared.

A few weeks later she saw the lady standing in line at a bank. But the woman no longer looked impeccably dressed or remarkably relaxed.

No.

Instead, she now appeared disheveled. And confused. And frightened.

“What’s wrong?” asked the manager.

“It’s my husband. He suffered a massive stroke a few weeks ago. He died. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know where to go. I don’t know how I can make it.”

The manager paused. And then spoke in a low, gentle voice.

“Why don’t you come back to the cafè? And have a good cup of coffee. I know it’ll make you feel better.”

“But who would I drink it with?” asked the woman, with a tremor in her voice.

“I’ll drink with you,” said the manager. “It would be my pleasure.”

So the two human beings – in a world in glaring need of greater humanity – walked back to the coffee shop, where the customer ordered her usual: two cups of coffee, one pastry and two forks.

And those two people had a conversation.

Maya Angelou once wrote this piece of wisdom: “People may forget what you say and people may forget what you do. But no one will ever forget how you made them feel.”

So build people up. Never tear others down.

Help anyone in need. If you don’t have something good to say to someone, don’t say it. treat all with courtesy and kindness. I know that seems old school, but that was such a good school in many ways.

Leaving everyone better than you found them and feeling bigger than when they first met you is just a fantastic way to roll. And a good mantra to be guided by.

THE “YOU WON’T WIN IF YOU DON’T EVEN TRY” ATTITUDE

Such a simple insight: You won’t win if you don’t even try.

So often, we get a big idea. One that will raise our career into a new orbit. One that will take your life to the next league. One that will really make us feel fully awake (and most intimate with our wonder).

… We start to sell ourselves on all things that could happen that will ensure we’ll fail.

… We start to worry about whether we have what it takes to fulfill the dream, realize the aspiration and materialize the accomplishment.

… We seduce our fantastic excitements into believing they are no longer worthy of our attention.

Eventually, that marvelous and audacious idea that made our heart roar and our spirit roar seems foolish and ridiculous. And so we don’t take action. Actually, we don’t even try.

Imagine an athlete wishing to win – but not even entering the tournament. Imagine a business manager wanting to lead her team to the rare air of absolute world-class – but not even showing up to the first strategy meeting. Imagine a brilliant inventor aiming to turn his field on its head – yet not even starting the tinkering.

Nothing happens until you move. You’ll never become a headliner if you wait. Destiny awards the starters. Fortune rewards the driven. And you’ll never know victory if you allow yourself to be paralyzed by apathy.

In the moments of my own life where I find myself resisting initiating, I’ll reread this wisdom of the Indian sage Patanjali:

When you are inspired by some great purpose, some extraordinary project,you’re your thoughts break their bonds. Your mind transcends limitations, your consciousness expands in every direction and you find yourself in a new, great and wonderful world. Dormant forces, faculties and talents become alive. And you discover yourself to be a greater person, by far, than you ever dream yourself to be.

And so I enthusiastically champion you to:

… never leave the site of a great idea without taking some action to make it real.

… always remember that it never hurts to ask (the worst thing that will happen is you’ll hear a sound called “no,” which is just a “maybe” in the making).

… not lose your nerve when the thinking and feeling of defeat show up.

… know and trust that rejection is the tuition demanded of everyday heroes to remain honest to their gifts and greatness. And that if you wait until you’re qualified enough and skillful enough and confident enough to go for what you want, you might be waiting a long, long time. Perfect conditions don’t exist and waiting for them is often simply an excuse because you’re really, really scared to begin.

You might say: “But Robin, what if I try and fail?”

I’d gently reply: “What if you don’t try? And then spend the rest of your life in regrets, smoldering over all that could have been, should have been, and failing to catch a glimpse of who you truly are?”

“We know ourselves as far as we’ve been tested” wrote Polish Nobel laureate Wislawa Szymborska.

The Gods of Advanced Achievement adore those who launch their visionary venture and only reward the ones who step into the ring.

You really can’t lose when you lean into your heart’s desires and luminous dreams, you know. If you get what you want, you win. And if what you desire doesn’t happen, you grow.

EXPECT UNGRATEFUL

Please don’t judge me as cynical. But I’ve mentally conditioned myself to expect ungrateful.

Here’s what I mean.

In Norman Vincent Peale’s positive thinking classic called, The Power of Positive Thinking, this ceaselessly optimistic minister encourages us to “expect ingratitude.”

As I understood it, his point is that most people will never truly appreciate your goodness and gentleness. It’s not just generally human nature (at this stage of our species’ evolution). So why lose peace of mind and valuable creative energy hoping to receive it?

I’ll put it another way: Avoid becoming an injustice collector. That way of seeing the world beats you down. And rips you up.

Accept the fact that the majority of people concentrate on what they didn’t get and remember what you didn’t do for them rather than the wealth of generosity you showered upon them.

And remember that someone else’s lack of appreciation or good manners or compassion or sense of fairness really has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them. People treat other people the way they treat themselves. So why make it about you?

Just stay true to your own moral instincts. Display the virtue of positivity, honesty, goodwill, excellence, humility, forgiveness and respect to all, with a clear understanding that very few will ever acknowledge your integrity and stainless character.

Do good anyhow.

THE STARTER’S ACTIVATION DECLARATION

I’ve composed a statement for you to recite early in the morning while your neighborhood is silent, so you can access your brightest fire and most astonishing talents at the quietest time of the day. While the rest of the world is asleep, you have the opportunity to achieve a primary triumph: to associate your purest self, to cultivate your dormant strength and to remember what you seek to stand for over the hours ahead.

At sunrise – when all is still, before the noise of the day has begun – you can access the side of yourself that has remained unwounded by discouragements of the past, that refuses to be conquered by negativity and defeat, and that wishes to exist in a way that makes a difference.

Reading this declaration aloud at dawn will – over time – reprogram both  your conscious and subconscious mind to shed the false beliefs that have kept you small and scared. It will load in the thoughts and feelings that forge everyday heroism. And re-engineer the way you get things done.

Here you go:

This day is a blessing that I will honor, savor and make fullest use of.

Tomorrow is an idea. Today is what’s real. And so I choose to live it. Elegantly, patiently and immaculately.

Over the moments coming, I will show up as a leader, not as a victim. As an originator, not a copier. As a visionary, instead of a follower.

Today, I choose to be extraordinary rather than average. And brave, instead of timid. A hero in my own distinct way, instead of giving away my potent powers by blame, complaint and excuse.

Insecurity and meekness and the fear of rejection will not pollute my productivity, nor hinder my ability to uplift, respect and render value to other people.

This day, I will make time for reflection and deep thinking, resist all time wasters, remain in the present moment and perform labor that reveals the mastery while remaining true to my highest ideals.

Today, I will keep each promise I make to myself, defend my hopefulness, exercise my best habits and accomplish the things that make my heart sing. For I have much music in me. And I will no longer disrespect myself by keeping that song within.

In the hours ahead, I will be supremely disciplined and incredibly focused, never confusing being busy with getting major feats done.

And should I need to rest, I will not measure this as a waste, understanding that first-class performance without honest recovery leads to degradation of my native genius.

Today, I will not leave the site of a great insight without taking some action to implement it. I know that ideation without execution is the sport of fools. And that making amazing dreams real is an enormous act of love.

This day, I will be more valiant than yesterday, more optimistic than I was last evening and kinder than I was last night. I understand that big people are the ones who make others feel bigger. And that on my deathbed what will matter most will be the human beings I’ve inspired, the caring I’ve delivered and the generosity I’ve displayed.

And so …

… In the face of any chattering doubts, I will advance my most sensational projects and produce towering work that stands the test of time. Because I know that frustration is the child of stagnation. And steady progress is a testimony to my talent.

… Regardless of old challenges, I will take my next step into the ring.

… In spite of any self-doubt, I will continue to climb to my most aspirational summits.

I am more of a doer than a talker, more of a deliverer than a dabbler, more of a pro than an amateur.

I know that monuments are made one stone at a time. And so I start. And stay concentrated, grounded and centered. For many hours at a time, without being distracted by nuisances.

And in so doing – no matter what the outcome – I’ve realized a central victory. Over my darker self. And the weakness that once bound me.

And as I continue to make my small advances toward my highest ideals, my tiny triumphs introduce me to the truth and strongness within me. And this reconnection electrifies the once

WHEN THINGS SEEM HARD, TRUST YOUR STRENGTH

I was on a mountain bike ride through the woods just before I wrote you this.

I was reflecting on the truth that, as humans, we often feel weak and regularly forget all our strength.

So, in a sweaty burst of hot inspiration, I pulled off the trail. Put down my bike and, as the sun set, set in the grass – and captured these words on my device.

Here is what I most wish to share with you:

When things seem hard, we have been granted the chance to trust our strength.

When confusion sets in, a window is opened for us to enter higher clarity.

When we question everything, we are truly growing.

When we feel completely alone, we are most connected to the shared experience of everyone.

And therefore we are united.

In tumult and storms, remember all you’ve been through.

The violent waves will eventually become very still waters.

The discomfort of transformation will return the bliss of new wisdom.

And power that is cleaner.

… You are stronger than you know,

… braver than you can admit,

… and more capable of navigating anything life can throw you than your intellect can ever teach you.

You are as powerful as the rain.

You are as unconquerable as the tide.

You are as good as the harvest.

You are as bright as the heavens

That carefully guide your way.

When scared ask: What would heroism do?

When worried, wonder: How would confidence behave?

When angry, question: Where can understanding be given?

When hurting, go where optimism lives.

When insecure, follow where self-love leads.

All is unfolding for your benefit. Nothing is against your happiness.

Your tests will lead triumphs.

Your good deeds will produce noble success.

Great rewards are on the way.

Trust in your process.

Don’t lose your nerve.

Compare your journey to none other.

You are flawlessly protected.

And richly guided.

By the force that rules the world.

DON’T WORRY ABOUT YOUR LEGACY

I wrote a book ages ago called Who Will Cry When You Die?

It was a work about living a life that people will talk about years after your end. It was an instruction manual for making your name matter after leaving a mark on the world.

I was thirty four years old when I wrote it. Now, with the swift passage of too much time, I wish I’d picked a better title. Seriously.

Talk of legacy is popular these days. Pundits prescribe that we should do the deeds and perform the acts that will cause our families and communities to honor us as heroes and maybe even have monuments erected to appreciate us once we’re gone.

I understand the sentiment and used to live my life in a way that would ensure that I’d be remembered fondly – by many – long after my death.

Not anymore.

I’m not buying what the notion of legacy is selling. It’s no longer makes sense to me, as a much older man.

Who cares about what people say about you after you’ve passed. You’ll be food for worms and pushing up daffodils six feet under. Or a tiny pile of ashes in a tarnished urn sitting on top of someone’s dirty fireplace.

As far as I can tell, what matters most isn’t how you’ll be remembered by those you leave behind but how you decide to live while you get to be alive.

… Were you cheerful during the good days and graceful in defeat?

… Were you considerate to all around you and forgiving of those who hurt you?

… Did you treat your profession with the respect it deserved and do your duty to represent supremacy in each of your enterprises?

… Did you have the conviction to be yourself when society pushed you to be like everyone else, as well as the sensibility to make others feel more hopeful when they were with you.

… Did you use the years of your life to grow in humility, gain in knowledge and learn to tread the planet more lightly than when you arrived?

… And did you learn not to take yourself too seriously, understanding that most of the troubles we worry about really don’t ever happen, so it’s best to remain joyful, grateful and relaxed.

These day I believe that pursuing a noteworthy legacy is the occupation of a screaming ego.

Being a courteous, masterful, steadfast and noble human being while your tender and brave heart still beats is the way to real heroism.

A HERO NAMED DESMOND TUTU

Desmond Tutu is one of the greatest leaders, humanitarians and change-makers in history.

Winner of the Nobel Peace Prize, he worked closely with Nelson Mandela for a free South Africa and the reconciliation of the wounds caused by the injustices of apartheid.

I’ve learned so much from Desmond Tutu over the years.

… The importance of standing up for myself with unyielding courage under conditions where I’ve been mistreated, yet with a forgiving heart that still seeks out the good in all.

… The profound value and fundamental importance of every human being on the planet, regardless of the color of their skin, the nature of their gender, the nation of their citizenship or their station in life. Everyone matters, Desmond Tutu taught me. And must be treated with respect, understanding and love.

… The essentialness of each of us releasing the shackles of victimhood and doing what he must to exercise our human power in easy times and during trouble by turning uncertainty into creativity, bruises into bravery and any form of tragedy into victory. We must rebuild the leadership the relationship with our greatest selves.

When I met Desmond Tutu in a quiet room in Johannesburg, I was awed, moved (to tears) and entirely mesmerized by the grace of his presence. And by the gentleness with which this giant of leadership treated me.

He once observed: “I am a leader by default. Because nature does not allow a vacuum.”

Words of truth. Spoken by a legitimate hero.

As you advance toward your major cause and loftiest ambitions, please inscribe those words onto your spirit. Know that you can lead without a title, show inspiration without a position and exemplify virtuosity, civility and helpfulness to many without any formal authority. You have the agency to reclaim any of your native power given the circumstances you blame, and truly make a mark by starting small and then remaining devoted to showing up at your leadership best, day after day. The way you become special and great is by practicing being special and great so often that all un-specialness and anti-greatness is cleansed out of you, like the sunshine of spring washes away all hints of cold and cruel winter.

Genuine power can be revealed when a human simply remembers to be fully human. Because nature does not allow a vacuum.

A PHILOSOPHY FOR RETURNING TO HUMAN

Okay. Last chapter. And so I pray that you will …

… Go out into this beautiful and sometimes cruel world with a heart full of heroism and eyes set to embrace the glory of your fullest powers.

Yes, some seasons will bring misfortune and some times will be difficult.

Yet there is much good in daily life. Neighbors who appreciate you, friends who enliven you and family that adores you.

When it comes to those who wish less than your lofty visions for you, know they know not what they do. Send them the good wishes that reflect your patience. And the kind understanding that displays your sincere forgiveness. It is a grand act of honor and strength to keep pleasant feelings toward all others within you.

Work richly and with dignity, giving more than you receive, and produce the magic that salutes your maker. And respects exceptionalism.

Keep your life simple, as an addiction to acquisition and deep craving for more can stifle your spirit and hurt your good heart.

Give more than you take. Be more helpful than is necessary. And treat each person you meet with dignity. This is a route to sustained spiritual liberty and enduring outer success.

Enjoy the company of wise people, the companionship of inspiring books and a healthy relationship with your sovereign self.

When the crowd seeks to make you like them, stay true to your path – leading by your virtues and the values that feel most real to you.

Remain bold, knowing that the meek and timid do not know the soaring flights that come by leaning into your fears. To postpone the life of your ideals is to invite resentment into your days.

Remember that terror is closer to triumph than complacency is. And that fear becomes faith when you walk into it.

Enjoy the rewards of your labor and the dividends of your masterwork.

Love compassionately, respecting all around you and the Earth that nourishes you.

Do all this to unite with the highness within you to fully materialize the everyday hero that you are.

University of Experience is a special Aboitiz Eyes section that focuses on leadership experiences, perspectives, and wisdom of those who have stood at the helm of Aboitiz over the years.

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